Thursday, April 30, 2009
Shld I feel this way?

Sign.....
Recently, jux don hav the mood to blog.....

y?

Hmmm..... How shld I put it in words without hurtin ppl's feelings?
But this is my blog.... I shld describe how i feel ba.... Rite?

Whenever I start planning for outing....
1 thing I dread to c most r those sms tellin mi at the last min that they couldn't come.

I had already planned things in ahead....
I had plan accordingly to suit ppl....
But den, things will nt go my way de.....

Askin ppl out is such a difficult task to do.... I tink doin an exam paper is better den askin a whole of ppl goin out.... Cos different ppl hav different schedules, likes n dislikes..... It is extremely hard to organise big groups of ppl goin for a outing....

I don know y recently, i oso had problems getting small grp to come out as well....
Studies, works, stress, no moods r some of the excuses....
It's nt I am nt understanding...
I am tryin to b understanding....
But I realised....
I can stand in the other person's shoe to understand them...
But....

Will they understand my disappointment?
Will I b able to withstand disappointment one straight after another.....
Do I wan to ask ppl only to know that they will reject mi...
Y shld I waste my time n my money doin this....

Cos I felt that if we never meet up every now n den....
Soon, we will lost touch wif one another....

In one's life, there will b many ppl walkin in n out of ut life....
All I wanna do is to keep ppl I wan to contact in my life....
If nt, they will soon b a passer-by juz like anyone else de....

Society is getting colder wif every passin moment....
I really don understand....
I really don....

I had a friend A.
A used to b close friend wif B.
They lived nearby n go to the same class in primary 5 n 6.
B moved away n both of them ended in different sec sch....
After sec sch, they met once again in same poly, different courses...
They did nt acknowledge one another that they knew one another....
I had seen it wif my eyes....
After that, I asked each of them separatedly....
They said they had lost touch for so many yrs liao....
They felt weird to tok to one another after so many yrs of nt talkin....

Yesterdae, I answered a phonecall...
The caller was lookin for mi....
But I don recognised the voice at all...
When the caller heard my voice...
He began to talk to mi excitedly...
He asked mi if I knew who is he...
I was sad to tell him I don know....
He asked mi to guess but I still don know....
I couldn't match a face to the voice over the phone....
In the end, he told mi his name....
When I heard that name.... Memories flow....
I remembered who is he...
He was a friend of mine who was in the same class wif mi for 2 month before he quit sch....
He was quite happy that I remembered him....
It had been 11 yrs since we last talked to one another...
Yet, I don feel strange talkin to him...
He said he had wanted to call mi but he was too busy wif his work...
He tried to get hold of mi but i wasn't ard when he called my home...
I was quite surprised that he remembered my home phone number after all these yrs...
I was quite touched to hear that he remembered mi as his first friend he get to know in sch...
I forgotten his phone number n had nt bothered to keep in touch....
After so many yrs.... He still remembered...
He promised to keep in touch n will ask mi to go for a coffee break soon....

2 same stories but 2 different approach....

Well, morale of the story, it takes 2 hands to clap...
It takes 2 ppl to maintain the relationship between them....
Be it for love or friendship....

At this very moment, I won't deny....
I'm weary.... I'm tired....
This is y I don wan to organise BCT gathering....
I don wan to feel disappointed to hear news of ppl nt turnin up....
I don wan to.....

Now....
At this moment....
I will oso no longer will ask ppl out liao....
Prehaps, it's time for a change liao....
Ppl shld ask mi out....
It's time for mi to rest liao....
Y shld I always b the one to ask ppl de....
Y shld I b the one to feel disappointed by the responds....

Or am I the only one who only wan to keep in touch....
Let's c wat the future bring for me....
I pray I will nt b disappointed...