Friday, July 24, 2009
Routine of life....

My cousin is getting marry in 2 weeks' time. His gf is pregant and they r getting marry.


Life....


Born,
Education,
Army,
Marriage,
Children,
Death.

He is nearing the marriage stage while i am still in my schooling stage.... I can't say i envy him as i have nt found the right person for mi.

Summary of some 'impt stages' of life.... Everyone's routine in life. Who was the one who set the standard de? Do we really need to go through wat everyone is going or had already went through.

Currently, Friends r still the impt part of my life. Without friends, life is terrible. At least for mi ba. Even up till now, i don hav the desire to find a gf, mayb i don wan to follow the rules set up by some ppl whom i don know.

I don know wat to do oso. There r no guides for direction in life. Everyone goes through once and no one lives to tell it in the end but everyone's direction in life r different. No one goes through the same way as others, even when we r together going through the same things, the feelings we shared r different cos we are different ppl.

在这个世界上，没有任何一个人是只属于自己一个人的。大家都和某人有联系，并且和大家共同拥有一些东西。所以人是不自由的。这一点佷有趣，也佷悲哀。

The above statement is quite true in a way. Ppl r tied down with relationships. Be it family, friends, love or others.... Noone truly belong to his own self.... Everybody had links to the ppl they r surrounded with... N we shared common things thus we can never have the freedom we desired...

Study is really stress... On the surface, I seemed to b surrounded by friends, but in the inside i felt more lonely den ever. There's nobody I felt i can rely on to share my feelings....

I feel like going to the beach one day to c sunset, enjoy the sea beezes.... to relax myself.... to think of nothing....

I really hope for that day.....

期待有一天，有一个人可以告诉我，"你不是一个人，你还有我。"

Thursday, July 23, 2009
Another update....

Time really flies veri fast.... I haven't updated my blog in 20 plus days... hehe.... I really sort of forgotten this blog existance. haha

Anyway, I juz don feel like switchin on the lappy nowadays. I rather lie on my bed n played nds... I am still trying to complete the legend of zelda which i borrowed from Calvin. I'm in the final stage of the game liao. Well, exams r comin in abt a month time n i am nt prepared for it. I think i will never be prepared de.

Watched transformers 2, 3 times in the theater wif different grps of friends, da ge, calvin, lijin, yc, kenny n haoling.

Watched harry potter 6 wif Kenny, Yc, haoling.

Recently, I met an pleasant old lady on the bus. She was holding a plastic bag with her hand that was wrapped ard the railing. It seems that she find the bus a dirty environment to b in. She was taking up a rather big space of her own, considering she was rather small n skinny in size.

She was cursing the students who carried big bags, hoping that when they alight from the bus; they will fall to their death. Kinda remind mi of the movie "Drag mi to hell." She was mummbling rather loudly talking to no one in particular abt a group of 5 malays that were near her, cursing them when they never move back, cursing their bags, cursing their voices, cursing abt everything abt them.

However when the bus started getting crowded, some ppl wanted to stand in the area which she was occupying, she shrieked that there are no more spaces left. -.-" Anyway, i won't stand beside her if i could. She really annoyed mi with her actions and thoughts. How could ppl b so selfish and nt spare a thoughts for others.

Singaporeans still got lots to learn especially abt public behaviour.............

Monday, July 20, 2009
The existance of a human?

Life can b a bore..... With this pace my life is going.....

Somebody once asked mi...

Wat r we born for ?

Wat is the existance of human?

I replied to that person.

We were born with a purpose on earth that is to learn something. We needed to learn that something as that is the passport to heaven. If we never discovered what is it in this life, we will be reborn again to continue searching for the something until we had obtained that knowledge.

However with each passing days, i am getting more pessimistic...

I now think that we were born to suffer, as we had to go through or experience death, suffering, pain, tears, diseases n others....

There are 2 sides to everything.

Good n Bad, juz like light and dark they can never be separated from one another. There is this thin line inbetween both of them.



Well, I am still searching for my meaning, y was I born into this world, wat is the purpose of my existance.....

ps, this is a old post which i created in 16th january this yr. Now den I completed it n posted it.

Saturday, July 4, 2009
Some updates abt poly life....

I realised my blog is getting stale.... but i juz don hav any mood to update.... Actually now i am forcing myself to update... A lot of things hav happen since the last entry....

Juz some updates...
Finally get to taste changi nasi lemak but nt as nice as i expect...
oso helped out my classmates' I n E project on beach cleaning at changi... Dragged Kenny along as well...
Chinatown Xiao long bao is veri nice.... n cheap... Went to eat wif Qiyun n Wesley...
Watched Ice age 3 wif JJ,Wesley, Flon,Geraldine,Qiyun,Vicky n Amelia....
Watched angel n demon wif Wesley n Amelia...
Watched nite at museum 2 wif Wesley, Amelia n Vicky...
Watched terminal salvation wif Wesley, Amelia n Vicky....

I realised I had spent more times wif my poly classmates as compared in the past... I used to say I am nt close wif my poly classmates, my ite friends r better but den I never gave a chance to them to prove themselves.... I never gave myself a chance to know them better.... Ya, of coz... the saying goes... old clothes r still more comfortable den new clothes....

I am still tryin to get to know my classmates ba... but sometimes, I juz don feel i fit in the class.... cos i am the most stupid n lazy of them all.... my results r the worst in the course.... so wat my practical skills is gd.... so wat's the point of being gd in practical when the lecturer is giving dry test for practical exams.... I felt more stupid whenever the results r given out... i know different ppl have their different strength....

there r things i still rather keep to myself den to let ppl know... I don ask for more... i juz wanna pass my modules.... but my classmates r really smart.... I felt i pulled down the grade in the class... There r times when i feel like hiding myself so that they won't know my results....

Ya, my I n E is done oso.... Though I am rather disappointed... I had alrady informed the person n the person acknowledged the venue n the time... but the actual day, the person didn't turn up...

When i confronted the person, the respond i got was.... "U shldn't told mi on msn. I had forgot abt it. U shld msg mi instead. Anyway, I wasn't interested in joining ur I n E event oso. I got better things to do."

This statement made mi veri disappointed... The way u expressed it out, the way that u don care... deeply hurt my feelings... Here am I trying my best to b thoughtful to my friends... Sometimes, I felt that i am being took for granted... It doesn't pay to b nice to ppl when they don appreciated it...
Y shld I always think more for my friends den for myself... Y shld I force myself to do things I don like to do juz to make my friends happy... Besides, I don hav ur hp number at all...

I once saw a movie, there was this saying: "我知道要想不被人拒绝,最好的方法就是先拒绝别人. " To mi, it simply meant "The best way to avoid disappointment is to reject ppl first before they can reject u."

But, i still like to think the best of my friends.... I still will help out to those who ask for my help... When I need help, I will ask them only once... If the person truly wanted to help u, u don need to tell the person so many times de... I learnt that some things cannot b forced upon... I rather ppl let mi down rather den i let ppl down... I knew I let ppl down before... but i am tryin my best to make up for it... i know some things can never b make up for but den i am always trying to make up for the wrongs that i had made before....

If only I can learn to let go.......

Ps: I'm glad that there r still some friends which I knew I could count upon.... Even though, it might nt b more den my fingers...

***S** *** ** S**
*** ***G *****G
***E*E ****
***** *** *I* *I**
***L*** L** ****
**N* ****N
**H *** *H**
****** *** *U** *U*

but whoever u r, i truly thanked u...