Saturday, October 31, 2009
Shattered

I've been shattered since that sat......

Tuesday, October 27, 2009
No mood

Really, I have been affected.... Moody....

I felt that I simply can't forgive myself....

I'm scared....

I felt so useless....

I do not know wat to do.....

Suddenly I felt I'm more lonely den ever.....

With no one to talk to......

There's no person whom I can poured out to.....

Saturday, October 24, 2009
Unforgettable date....

I won't forget today's incident.....

Invisible man is wat I am.....

Thursday, October 22, 2009
School

Ya, Sch had reopened.... Had went through 3 days....

It's more difficult as compared to last time......

I don know how to do my tutorials.....

i felt helpless.... As if I never studied before.....

The information that was stored in my brain seem to disappear....

I'm really veri tired.... Emotion n Physical....

I tried my best not to let my emotion get to me but yet I can't help feeling depressed after only 3 days of sch reopen....

Can I survive through? I needed a break....

Somehow, I seems to find ppl getting faker n faker... Their actions don match with wat they say... They think of themselves more.... Y can't we think more for others....

Y?
Y?
Y?

I seems to be getting faker by every passing minute.... Maybe the environment.... Maybe the company that I had.... I don know...

I missed my old self....
I missed him.....

The part of him that is missing in me right now....
Wat can I do to get him back?

I juz wished there is a area for mi where i could escape to....
Where no one can find mi....

I tried my best to be a part but yet I still don't belong.....

Monday, October 12, 2009
Malaysia trip....

Ya, it had been awhile since i went to malaysia.... Ever since march 10th....

N now the trip had finally resumed....

This time round.... Lijin joined mi n Yc to go.... Kenny as usual with his excuses.... My cousin couldn't go either.....

We met at abt 1330 at causeway point n went to take 950... It was a rainy day in sg... A gloomy day in malaysia....

We had lunch at sushi king... I felt the standard had dropped... Waiting time was rather long maybe due to lots of ppl eating there? We walked ard city square before making our ways to holiday plaza. I bought 7 ps2 games this time... Well, ps2 is slowly fading out as new consoles like xbox360, Wii r releasing newer games.....

This time round, the dvds we bought broke the record.... 59 discs... Haha.... Lyon wanted the 3 seasons of heroes drama. He asked Yc to help him buy and that was a total of 18 discs. Yc had 19 discs n I bought 12 discs. Ya, as i bought more games den i expected.... if counted... i shld hav 20 discs in total...

As we were broke after buying the dvds... Lijin treated us to pizza hut for dinner.... Haha... Wasn't that nice of her? Hehe... No, Lijin is the best. As usual, we had a good chating during dinner n lots of laughter....

I reached back home at abt 9pm.... Hmmm, when shld the next malaysia trip be?

Sunday, October 11, 2009
Steamboat Buffet...

Well, ever since 2 yrs ago on lab day I tink was the last ITE gathering....

N now which was yesterdae was another gathering after 2 yrs....

12 ppl turn up for the steamboat. Initially expected 15 but minus away Andrew, Lishan n Ace...

Ah Beng, Zhao Ming, Alvin (the 3 smokers)
Michelle, Amanda, Serene, Yiqi, Jane
Lyon, Sebas, Yc n me.

We joined 2 round tables together with gals sitting on the left, guys on the right. Ah beng, zhao ming n Alvin were like hungry ghosts..... Eating n eating non stop.....

The food was average.... But service simply sux.... We ordered 14 items but only 2 items were served, we had to reorder n reorder.... In the end some food still wasn't served till we left n some were served without us ordering it..... Like the watermelon.... A hintz to tell us to get out? Cos fruits were served last usually...

As I'm typing, I felt hungry.... Haha... Had some jokes to tell during the buffet expecially abt Jane n the aircon.... haha.... Thanks to us.... initially only 1 air con was switched on, in the end 2 more air cons n 3 fans were switched on....

It was the talking that was nicest part.... As it had really been a long time since we met up as a group.... Well, credits to YC ba as he's the one who organised it... Well, i so called pushed everything to him... Though i got helped him a bit at the first part to msg some ppl...

The smokers left first as they were going to orchard... The rest of us den made our ways to suntec to buy bubble teas before making our ways home....

I tink we shld organise more gathering in the future, the malays always had more outings den us chinese....

Saturday, October 10, 2009
random....

Well, holidays r ending soon wif juz one more week to go.... I will missed them de.....

Nt that I like doing nth at home but at least i got time to do wat i wan....

My arms r aching as i typed as i juz came back from swimmin....

Well, actually i was quite emo.... Cos of a friend's rely.... The person never rely mi back after i sent 2 more sms....

Life is really limited... That's wat I told moomoo on the phone juz now.... Actually I never talked to her for abt 9 months..... Since my bday.... I was really angry at her....

Recently, Kelly vomit blood out during FYP. Stayed in hospital for a week, mc at home for a week. Well, Kelly n Cow were veri close before.... But Apple never even called Kelly to keep in touch wif her ever since the incident....

Well, abt 2 months back.... I dreamt.... I dreamt of mu niu, dreamt of Lijin, Calvin, Yiqi, Jane, Yc n others.... We were happily playin games together in sch... Teasing one another, joking, laughing as if time had stopped back than.... When I woke up, the dream was still fresh in my mind....

I was wonderin how Huiping was.... How come she never called mi like old times.... Given my understanding of it's character, timid to face us whenit had done such a wrong thing, No face to c us oso...

I wondered to myself if it is nt going to take action. Shld I decided upon whether friendship or the incident is more impt to mi... Like having a weighing balance before mi, I measured it the pros n cons of it....

So one day, I called it up.... It was quite surprised to c my number on its hp.. So we toked, of old times n the incident which cost the friendship.... I scolded her for being too timid, in the wrong still don dare to come apologise to us. Scoldedit for nt knowin Kelly's condition... If she really treasured our friendship, She shld try to make up to us nt until mi reaching to her..... She juz don hav the guts to face us...

Well, to mi.... I realised Life is limited, unprediable...

U never know what will happen next....

I told her wat if she heard news of my death.... Will she regret for nt makin up to mi when I'm still alive.... It was silent n replied will feel regretful.... So i told her to call Kelly n showed some concern. I'm prepared to look over the incident... I don wan to hav regrets in my life oso....

I asked her this....
how much of human life is spend in waiting?
N how much longer can U wait?

Human life is limited but time is still going forward....
A human's time is limited....
How much more excuses muz still be given out....

Wat's done is done..... True, I still can't forgive.... But.... I can looked over it ba.... They say time heal all wounds.... I juz don wan her to look back upon her life to regret.... Action speaks louder than words....

If u r reading this.... This is the last time it shld happen liao.... Miracles never appeared twice.... Hold on firmly to wat u don wan to let go....

Ps:
I wonder.....

How long more will my heart cease operation...

Sunday, October 4, 2009
cAmP

Well, camp.... Hi Club! camp.... Hi stand for Hearing Impaired...

Can't say, I really enjoyed the camp.... Think my cousin enjoyed better den I do.... Cos his grp got a joker, that's wat he told mi....

Well, my grp was the 2nd smallest... 6 members... 3 guys 3 gals... Can't say, I really mingled well cos there was this stupid rule of talking with sign language so i choose to act mute instead.

I was in yellow grp while my cousin was in red group. His grp was the biggest of all....

My grp was really suay.... Nite walk was the last grp, I was the last person. slept at 5am, woke up at 8am.... There's this stupid CSI murder... with stupid clues n stupid answer....

2nd day.... Amazing race, ya..... Amazing clues, amazing hot weather.... wat's frustraing was the GLS knew where will the station be but yet made us walked the looong way.... walked 3 bus stops to that station.... we never completed the game... The clue that was given was 42061, c if u can figure out wat is it ba. 2nd clue was 42081...

Well, after that was the water bombs game... I went showered with my cousin after that.... Needed to borrow shampoo n stuffs as i never brought.

3rd day was the preformance.... Break camp at 6pm.... Return home to find no one at home as they went to old airport road to eat. I went down to buy a packet of rice to eat for my dinner n slept soon after that.....

The camp was a ok, i tink.... Nt that I never made any friends... but the rule of signing when u talked was really stupid... ya, i never knew that this was a instructor camp, of cos i rejected the offer of being an instructor... I now wondered shld I still joined the CCA or nt for the next semester.....