Sunday, June 29, 2008
CTs

well, CTs stand for common tests. ya i hav got back my results. Well, I hav passed all 3 of my papers but nt very good results. juz borderline only. i shld b happy since i never really study. ya, the word is lazy. perhaps, i shld try to buck up noe nut it's easier say den done. My classmates r so clever den mi. they hav juz studied last yr whereas for mi, it was 3 yrs ago.

Time....

I hav forgotten a lot of stuffs recently liao. I'm nt good wif memories nowadays. i kept forgettin stuffs i shldn't forget. is my brain full liao? can i still keep my memories? n remembered the things i don wan to forget? does that mean i'm lettin go of my past liao?

side track a bit, I read a story last week. it is said that when a person is abt to die, His life will flash across him durin the last 10 sec of his life.

10 seconds. An entire human lifetime memories only is 10 seconds....

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 and 10.

that's it.

So life only consist of 10 seconds. I wonder wat seconds am i countin to now?

Is my time up?

U never know wat life has in store for u the next second de....

Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Hmmm....

I saw a frenz's blog. I liked his blog. It mades mi remembered how i felt back durin some phases of my life. I'm the type of person who care more for others den for my own self. sometimes, even going overboard. well, i will shield my own problems from my frenz if i could or mayb hiding myself to cry in a corner. crying is nt wrong, it at least express out my unhappiness, by lettin go of my tears. by cryin, i might even forget wat is that something that is bothering mi. Until when i lay awake at nite and start to reflect on the day i had spend.

I wonder when will I b able to live for myself and not for others.
I wonder when will I b loved for wat i am.
I wonder when will I die.
I wonder when will I be able to let go.
I wonder wat life has in store for mi.
I wonder if I can hold on to the end.
I wonder wat I wan to do now.
I wonder if I can b myself everyday.
I wonder if I am really me or not.
I wonder if this is part of life that i'm goin through.
I wonder if I exist because of wat reason.
I wonder if I understand myself.
I wonder if there's anyone who understand mi.
I wonder if my parents loved mi.
I wonder do I have a place in my family.
I wonder if everything I'm going through is real or not.
I wonder when will I b able to laugh willingly.
I wonder do I have any friends.
I wonder wat am I doing in life.
I wonder if others appreciate mi for my presence.
I wonder will I b hurt by others again.
I wonder if I'm stupid enough to keep repeating wat I knew was wrong.
I wonder if I'll b able to find my soulmate.
I wonder if there's anything to look forward to in life.
I wonder when will I b spared for my suffering?
I wonder if there's anything wrong wif mi.
I wonder when will I b enlighten.
I wonder how come a simple matter to mi can b so complex for others.
I wonder if I'm in the right state of mind now.
I wonder wat I don't know.
I wonder if I shld continue doing wat I know will hurt me.
I wonder if I shld wait any longer.

I wonder.... I wonder.....

Monday, June 23, 2008
Competitive

Well, it has been sometime since i feel like blogging. it's not i don wan to it's juz that these few last days of holiday i juz wan to enjoy more be4 sch starts. I went for lsct society on wed, class outing on thurs to watch kung fu panda a 2nd time and celebrte wesley's birthday. Fri, I went out wif da ge to go sing ktv at suntec. it has been sometime since i went out wif him. Sat, I went back for cca again and lastly sun, i rest at home the whole day.

Well, i was quite shocked when i heard moomoo told mi abt something it shld hav told mi long ago but it forgot. Well, better late den nvr. I was quite surprised that this fren of mine was so competitive that the person don wan to lose out to those who the person think is not hardworkin de. I was quite surprised to heard that i was one of the 3 persons whom my fren doesn't wan to lose to; as my grades r better den this fren. Well, i guessed that in my fren's thought, i wasn't one of those hardworkin types, but played ard and wasn't serious abt work at all. Shld i feel sad, or angry or wat? Actually, i don't really feel anythin liao cos i have been hurt be4 by this fren of mine not too long previously. this fren of mine hav changed quite a lot recently till the surroundin frenz don't really recognized this particular fren liao.

I can't say competitive is nt good but u don wan to lose to those who never study? how do u know that those you thought never study really never study? If i really never study how do i get the marks i deserve? does that mean u never study also? competitive among frenz is nt abt turnin green wif envy when the ones u don think will do well did well. As a fren, i sincerely will b veri happy for frenz of mine who hav done well for their tests. if i didn't do as well as my fren i hav only myself to b blamed and not others. anyway, my defination of competitive is nt the same as urs i guess.

不求与人相比,
只求超越自己.

Thursday, June 19, 2008
Growing up

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down probably will. We will have our heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. We'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when our own selves was broken. We'll fight with your best friend. We'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

We will cry because time is passing too fast, and eventually we would lose someone we love. So we shld start to take photos, laughing a lot, and love like we have never been hurt because every sixty seconds we spend upset is a minute of happiness that will never be returned.

Monday, June 16, 2008
Waiting..

Well here am i as usual wif my crappy thoughts. Todae is a monday. Well, I thought i will go out todae wif a fren but surprisingly up to now, I haven't stepped out of my door yet. Ya, I haven't been eating any meals up to now except for a few jelly beans, a cup of soya bean and an orange. Ya, i don feel hungry probably due to the fact that i'm still waiting for an rely form the fren of mine. I thought of goin to ktv to sing or mayb catch a movie. i have asked the fran of mine to come out after a test my fren had but well, i don think my fren will meet me now. I hav spend another day of my life to wait. I'm supposed to go for a camp todae but ya i'm still at home. The sky is getting darker as i typed.

Well as I have stated in my previous post, "How much of human life is spend in waiting?" Ya, waiting is a slow process which some ppl hated it. U have to wait for everything throughout ur life. Sometimes, even when u waited u won't get wat u expect. Lucky for mi, I have a lot of patience for waitin. I don mind waitin as i'm sort of used to it liao. Whether i get disappointed in waitin or wat, i tell myself it's part of life to wait.

Well, when i say i wan to come out, i really wan to come out de but y keep mi waitin the whole day. I could hav a better day spend instead of lookin back to c that i had wasted a day juz to wait. Sign, my time of waitin will not be returned to mi de. A day wasted is a day wasted liao. Do u know that? Wif each passing second, i'm juz but a step nearer to death. I know this sound kinda depressin but it's a fact rite? The debt that every man got to pay. Sign, but i guessed i will still wait....

Saturday, June 14, 2008
Memories

This might come a bit too late but better late den never rite? This is a video clip I made for my ITE class. I completed this video thing in the beginning of 2008. It took me abt 1 week to do. I had always wanted to make a video clip of my own one day and now since I missed my ite class so much. I had made one for memories' sake. I know it's rather a small video and it's rather unclear but i can't find a free converter to convert DAT files to AVI or MPEG format. So please forgive mi. I had so many problems tryin to upload this video. Mayb i will post this up first ba. I will try post the video another time. Sorrie guys.

Thinking back, my ite life.... I felt so blessed that I have known so many good friends. My class was the most unique of all. We had so many classic characters in the class. Who can forget Denny wearing the mask and seems to stop breathing when he put it on. Who can forget Huda trying to kiss Denny? Who can forget Ace wif his lame remarks? Who can forget ah beng for trying to act ah beng?

Haha. Two yrs of ite, is not a long time or a short time. I know most of us would like to continue wif the ite class we had but life have to move on somehow. We can't turn back the time as it has already become the past but we can look to the future and create more memories for us to remember.

To my ITE friends, I never kept in touch wif all of u and I know it's difficult to get everybody to go out and have a gathering cos everybody are busy wif their own lives now. We have once walked side by side wif one another heading towards the aim of obtaining our certificate in BCT. Now that, we have graduated from the course, we are now heading towards different directions in lives. No matter wat, ITE days were one of my best days I had in my life. Even though most of the outside ppl think that studyin at ITE suxs. ITE stand for It's The End. ITE is full of problem kids. I never regretted going to ITE. Who are they to judge ITE students when they never even know wat we went through.

Good-byes will always hurts
Pictures will never replace having been there
Memories good and bad will bring tears
Words can never replace feelings

Life gives us brief moments with another...
but sometimes in those brief moment,
we get memories that will last a life time...

Friday, June 13, 2008
Friday!

Yeah, it's the holiday. i don't supposed i will go anyway todae. I'm veri tired. Yesterdae, I met 3 of my medics frenz yaw sing, jian sheng and jin shun at vivo. we went to watch a rather stupid, lame movie. Throughout the movie you can heard the laughters of the ppl but I don find it funny. I never laughed at the supposed to b funny parts and I only smiled 3 times. I felt it's a waste of money to watch this movie but it's for the sake of the frenz that I went cos i hav rejected their offers of watching movies together for ard 5-10 times liao. The last time I hanged out wif them was.... Hmmm, I don't really remembered wat's the last movie I went to c wif my medics frenz. This shows it is really a long time I hanged out wif them. Ya, I remembered liao, the last movie I watched wif them was spiderman 3 at marina square gv. I was the one who organised it. Abt 12 of us (nt involving charles's gf) turned up, it was quite a big gathering. Kah soon, Charles n his gf, Mark, Jackson, Jiansheng, Jiazhen, Ming Wei, Jun Yuan, Chan, Me, Gary n Yaw Sing. I guessed it have been a year since I last saw them. N i never really like to use msn to chat oso.

Ya, back to yesterday, I reached back home at ard 2230. Actually, I hav to pass some dumplings to Da ge. He was working temp during the school break. I asked him to meet me ard 10pm plus. But he msg mi at art 2330 that he had juz cleared up and was waiting for bus to go home. He called mi ard midnight that he was going for supper wif his frenz at cck. Da ge told mi to meet him at 1am instead and he was sorry for makin mi wait. Actually, I was already very sleepy at that point of time but I forced myself to play games and to stay awake. Until I can't stand it and fall asleep but i was nt really to sleep. I tossed and turned every now n den. Scared that I won b able to hear the phone ringing. Juz when i was abt to fall into sleep, the phone rung. It was abt 0043.

He said he had juz walked a frenz home and will come n meet me now. I asked him where was he but he told mi he nt sure. I told him that i will go down n meet him but he juzasked mi to wait under my blk. But his house was quite a distance from mine n he had to work later on so i said i will go meet him instead n he say it's up to mi lor. I rushed down only to wonder at which part of bp is he at rite now. Shld I walked to the left side or to my right side? Until i saw a person wearin white cross the road atthe far right side. Decidin that it muz b him so i hurry across. I hav a spilttin headache properly due to the fact that i haven't rest. I pass him the dumplings and we sat down to chat some stuffs and problems we had recently till ard 2am when he say he needed to rest liao. So we parted our ways and i went back home to sleep again except now i can't sleep liao. =.=" Anyone can helped mi to fall into sleep faster?

I woke up at 7.30am this morning and i'm still rather tired, i think i will go back to sleep soon. I don wan to hav panda eyes. Haha.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Holidays or not?

Well, this week is my so called 2 weeks break except out of 14 days I hav to go back sch for 9 days. N I am left with only 5 days. My class outing will take up a day, which mean I have only 4 days left. How am I going to rest? I have got to go out wif my frenz oso.

I spend this week mon at home, playin games n doin a bit of housework. Tues, I went for my cca. Anyway, I 'pong' my cca after lunch, i went to the library wif 2 of my frenz. We went there to watch movies. Anyway, it's a nice place to watch movies except there's no popcorns. Hahaha.

Today, I went for my another cca, i sort of injury myself. We were divided onto 2 grp of 11 ppl each. We played some games, I hated that vegetable game. It was a tiring day for mi. I felt i need to rest from yesterday n today's activities. My skin is veri warm, perhaps due to standing in the sun for too long. My skin needed a break oso. My body oso.

I'm tired, veri tired. tired a lot of things. Y am I feelin like that? Is poly life too stress for mi? CT juz ended but I don feel i hav done well, I seems to hav difficulty trustin ppl nowadays. I seems to keepin more to myself wif each passin days. I really missed YC. He was there for mi when i needed him. Even though he was veri naggy at times, n his incorrect logics do made mi hav to crack my brain cells every now n den. He was my best frenz in ITE. Now that he is in army, we only get to meet out durin the weekends. Ever since I started studyin n took a cca which i need to come on sat. I can only meet him on sat nite, or mayb sun.

I wonder when he start his study which i know he intend to study at sp next yr. Will we b able to keep in touch often or not? Well, I do not know. Ppl do change de. No one will stay forever, every day we r not the same de cos mayb of the different environment frenz. Any details will affect our thinking de. Forever jux don exist but yet i still hope the world really consist of forever friends. N i do hope i can hav one. Or mayb i hav already got but i juz don know only.

Now since i'm at poly, I think i hav found a close frenz(I do nt know if he regard mi as one oso) but we r from different courses, different classes. It's kinda difficult to meet after sch. To me, he is like so busy always. He is popular in class ba. Sometimes, I felt we got limited topics to tok abt since i'm not crazy abt online games. I hav to think of topics to tok. Muz b interestin oso since i dunno if i got ever bored him before.

Yc, ps get well soon n watch out for ur safety. Think be4 u act. Ur frenz r prayin for ur recovery.


To all of my frenz:

I won't promise we can b frenz forever,

Cos I won't live forever.

But let mi b ur frenz,

As long as I lived.

Monday, June 9, 2008
每一个人, 都在等一个人.

每一个人, 都在等一个人.

How much of human life is spend in waiting?

Things don't happen the same way twice.

These are juz some random thoughts that I had these few days.... Mayb I got nothing better to do ba. Haha.

Maybe some people just aren't meant to be in our lives forever.
Maybe some people are just passing through.
It's like they come through our lives to bring us something;
A gift
A blessing
A lesson that we need to learn and that's why they are here.

Ps: R u one of the above ppl that's juz passing through my life?

Saturday, June 7, 2008
Different thinking

Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Gals(and what they actually mean)

10. I think of you as a brother.
(You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in “Deliverance.”)

9. There's a slight difference in our ages.
(I don't want to make love to my dad.)

8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.
(You are the ugliest dork I've ever laid eyes on.)

7. My life is too complicated right now.
(I don't want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm seeing.)

6. I've got a boyfriend.
(I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry's.)

5. I don't date men where I work.
(I wouldn't date you if you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)

4. It's not you, it's me.
(It's you.)

3. I'm concentrating on my career.
(Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)

2. I'm celibate.
(I've sworn off only the men like you.)

1. Let's be friends.
(I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with. It's the male perspective thing.)


Top 10 rejection lines given by Guys(and what they actually mean...)
10. I think of you as a sister.(You're ugly.)
9. There's a slight difference in our ages.(You're ugly.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way.(You're ugly.)
7. My life is too complicated right now.(You're ugly.)
6. I've got a girlfriend.(You're ugly.)
5. I don't date women where I work.(You're ugly.)
4. It's not you, it's me.(You're ugly.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career.(You're ugly.)
2. I'm celibate.(You're ugly.)
1. Let's be friends.(You're sinfully ugly.)

Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Wed

Today marks the end of my 2nd CTs. Tomo is the last paper liao. Cell Biology. I shall pray for the best. Recently, I have been going to the library at 8am, booked rooms to study. Wif Carmen n PH. Andre was ard as well as he came on his own to study. Basically, it was quite tiring for mi as I never really study for it. I guess it had something to do with my genes and something called LAZY.

I think I will b veri happy by tomo at this time. Ya, I felt kinda bad for JJ as today is his birthday and I never wished him due to the fact that my class was planning to surprise him tomo after the CT. So I was ordered to keep my mouth shut by Heidi and Jessica not to wish him happy birthday. Haha. Well den, I thought I will juz put it up on my blog to wish him a HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY.

Go where you can,
Be what you want.
cos You have only 1 life
to do everything.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008
对的人

我们都该 回头看看 来时路
就算起风 偶尔有雾 模糊不了幸福
我们都该 在心里数数 感动的次数
谁陪你疯 谁陪你笑 拍拍肩一起追逐

每一段路都是一种领悟

未来有一个人在等待,
我等的人他在多远的未来?
我排着队拿着爱的号码牌.


爱虽然很美妙却不能为了寂寞又陷了泥沼,
爱要耐心等待仔细寻找感觉很重要,
宁可空白了手等候一次真心的拥抱,
我相信在这个世界上一定会遇到对的人出现.

The correct person will bring Love to u if u can found the right person no matter how long u waited.

Labels: The right person

Monday, June 2, 2008
ME!

what shld I say? I'm still trying my best to know my classmates. I think we r the slowest class to bond. Well, I muz admit up till now, I have not warmed up to my new classmates yet. I am only friendly wif a few. I think i'll b ranked third for the most quiet in class. I don't know wat topics to tok to my classmates abt. I don know how to open up myself. I'm still learning. During ite, I don't think i'm so 'shy' like now. I dunno y I'm behaving this way now.

My first poly CT are coming in a couple of hours and yes, I have not revise any topics yet. It's gg for me. There r a couple of new terms which I picked up from my poly friends.

GG aka good game - game over (those who played DOTA will b familiar wif this term ba)
ROFL aka roll on floor laughing
LMAO aka laugh my a** out - lame
GLHF does not stand for group leaders have fun(my friend told mi this is the meaning, but i'm the stupid one who believed his words =.=").
GLHF aka Good Luck, Have fun.

That's wat I can remember only. Personally, these short forms will worsen my english only.

Everyone can see
who and wat I appear to be
but only a few know the real ME
You can only see
what I choose to show
there's so much more
you just don't know...

Recently...

Recently, I seems to lose my direction. I don't know what i'm doing wif each passing days. I seems to lose my motivation for everything. There's juz a sad feeling inside me which I couldn't relate to. I do not know what is causing this sad feeling but it had caused me to b quite emotional at times even when I don't want to. I seems to b losing my mind, I dunno wat I wan. I act as if I'm normal in front of my frenz but when I'm alone, this sense of sadness juz came over me, is stress i'm handling now? Am I too stress that i do not know myself anymore. I don't feel stress but maybe my emotional feel stress with the way I am handling matters. I know I feel too emotional at times but I'm trying to control my feelings. When it's juz a minor thing that happen but I felt like it's the end of the world to me. Am I losing my hold of my mind? I started to questioned a lot of life to myself.

What's my purpose in life?
Did I achieved anything up till now?
Am I a failure?
What's my purpose in this world?

Yeah. And I'm sad!
But at the same time I'm really happy that something can make me feel that sad.
It's like... It makes me feel alive, y'know? It makes me feel human.
The only way I could feel this sad now, is if I felt somethin' really good before, so I have to take the bad with the good.
So I guess what I'm feelin' is, like a beautiful sadness."