Thursday, February 15, 2007
1st Entry

First entry, I never thought I would end up creating a blog online. It's been awhile since I wrote dairy. Today is Total Defence Day, my lecturer bought the class to Changi and to Kent Ridge park. I learnt more about World War II, how Singapore fought back when japanese invaded it in 1942. It was horrible. So many people died because of it. Today, as I walked through the museum, I came across a section where they put up the letters the prisoners of war(POW) received in prison. I felt very sad when I read it. I also read up the badges given in memory of the men who fought hard for Singapore. Some of them had names, some didn't but it was very sad to think that their lives were lost in war. They left behind their own family, their future, their friends to come to Singapore to fight. There are people from India, China, Malaysia, Australia and Britian. In the 1st place, they don't have to come to Singapore to fight, they can protect their own countries but what makes them come over to help out, they knew they might not returned to their homeland alive but yet they helped and defended Singapore willingly. They would have a diferent and meaningful lives if not for war. I am a medic, I learnt first aid during my days as a member in St. John ambulance brigade. I am being trained in the medic course that in war, regardless of allies or foes, anyone who is wounded have to be treated and I would do so if I ever go into war. It's not my nature not to help people. I saw this sentences in the museum today and I think it's very meaningful.

"Father, forgive them. They know not what they do."
Soldiers are only trained to carry out and obey orders, they have no rights to say what is wrong, what is right.

I don't like to see people suffer and I will do my best to help out people in whatever I can. I think more for others than for myself. And because of my character, I enountered people who took me for granted, because I'm easy going, people around me like to take adventages of me. Sometimes, I will try to look over, sometimes I pretend not to know cos I don't want to hurt the friendship. Sometimes, people do hurt me with their remarks especially when they said they understand me but in reality they do not. I think I have a lot of friends but I can say I also don't have friends cause when I need friends, I look through my telephone list, I found out there aren't any I can relate my problems to. People tend to think for their own selves rather than for others. They care for their own and don't bother about the surroundings. But I firmly believed that the world does not only have a person living in it. If you make your friends happy, you will be happy too. I'm willing to do things for my friends but I don't think there are any who is worthy. I heard a lot of excuses, I faced a lot of disappointments, I have been in charge of organising activities for friends for meet up. I have done quite a lot and people are always waiting for me to organise. I'm tired already. Why must I be the only 1 who organised? Am I the only 1 who missed my friends only? They don't missed friends? Is it true that once you moved on to another stage in life, you will lose touch? I have lost touch with many nowadays and don't be surprise if there's no news of me in future. Everyone are busy with their own stuffs. Excuses like "I'm busy.(ya, you are busy till you got no life of your own already.)" "I don't have time.(Time is not yours, of cos you don't have it.)" "I'm studying/working. (ya, you study/work all the time.)" "I only got time for my girl/boyfriend.(girl/boyfriend are everything in the world, no more spare for anyone else)" "I'm going out with my usual gang.(You never give me a chance for me to know you and for you to know me.) " "Sorry, I got something on last minute (everytime the same people with the same excuse, can you come up with something new for a change?)" There are tons more but with every disappointment I faced, I feel more hopeless. I don't want to give up on you but it's you who make me want to give up on you. Up to now, no matter wat, I will still make time for friends no matter what. I can give up my sleep, my games, my hobbies. Money is not a issue with me either. Money can be earned back if spent. I don't mind spending if it makes a friend happy. Friendship are for life but do I have any? My birthday, I feel disappointed that you didn't do what I hope you will do. 24 hours I had waited but still there aren't any. And the reason I get is not a reason. I stressed that i'm not angry, just plain disappointed. Ya, if you ever think i'm describing you, den it is you i'm refering.

It's not that I never forgive; I had already forgive.
It's not that I never forget; It hurts too much to forget.
If there's ever a day I forget; It means I had gave up on you.

Labels: Forgive and Forget